Individual virtual psychotherapy across Ontario
When rejection feels unbearable and distance does not stop the pain
A change in tone, a delayed reply or a perceived slight can feel like proof that someone is leaving. You may push them away to stop the pain, then discover that ending the relationship does not end what you feel. Therapy offers a place to understand that pattern and recover more choice when the emotion is at its strongest.
- Secure video across Ontario
- Daytime and evening appointments
- $150 for 50 minutes · Sliding-scale available
The focus
“I hate you, don't leave me” can describe two real needs colliding
When rejection or abandonment feels overwhelming, anger, demands for reassurance or cutting off the relationship may offer immediate protection without soothing the underlying pain. DBT-informed therapy may help you understand the pattern, move through the emotional peak and respond in ways that protect both your dignity and the relationships that matter to you.
Why “I hate you, don't leave me” can feel exactly right
Being a person who cares deeply about others, is usually empathetic and can notice when someone is upset long before others do is a wonderful gift. But that same sensitivity can make perceived rejection, disappointment or slights feel intolerable.
Whether intended, ambiguous or real, your perception can evoke very painful emotions. A late reply can feel like abandonment. A request for space can feel like the end of the relationship. One part of you may want to attack, withdraw or end the relationship before the other person has a chance to leave. Another part may desperately need them to stay.
In that moment, “I hate you, don't leave me” can feel exactly right. The anger tries to end the threat. The fear knows that distance will not soothe the pain. Even after cutting someone off, you may continue replaying what happened, feeling the loss, blaming yourself or wanting urgently to reconnect.
High sensitivity is not a diagnosis, and ending a relationship can be necessary when it is unsafe or harmful. The pattern we examine is different: using distance to escape an overwhelming feeling, then discovering that the feeling followed you.
You are more than a diagnosis or a reaction you regret. We begin with what happened, what the emotion is communicating and what your response is trying to protect.
What we may work on
Depending on your goals, therapy may include:
- slowing down what happens between a trigger and a response;
- regulating big emotions using mindfulness and DBT skills;
- separating what happened from what you fear it means;
- learning to ask for reassurance, clarity or space without attacking yourself or the other person;
- understanding the shame, grief or longing that can remain after anger subsides;
- distinguishing an unsafe relationship from a painful but uncertain moment;
- practising boundaries and repair that fit the relationships and life you want to build.
The aim is not to make you less sensitive or remove emotion from your life. It is to develop a more workable relationship with your emotions and recover more choice in what happens next.
A DBT-informed and integrative approach
Floyd draws from DBT for emotional regulation and distress tolerance. His work is also informed by ACT, IFS and CBT when those approaches fit the person and the moment.
Therapy remains collaborative. We pay attention to your particular mind, relationships, circumstances and goals rather than assuming that one model explains everything.
Related support and reading
Practical questions
Questions about this therapy.
Can therapy help with rejection sensitivity and overwhelming emotions?
DBT-informed therapy may help you understand the pattern, move through the emotional peak and recover more choice before taking an action that is difficult to reverse. The work remains collaborative and shaped around your circumstances and goals.
Is high sensitivity the same as BPD?
No. High sensitivity is not itself a diagnosis. Therapy begins with your particular emotions, relationships and patterns rather than assuming one diagnosis or model explains everything.
What approaches inform Floyd's work with BPD?
Floyd draws from DBT for emotional regulation and distress tolerance. His work may also be informed by ACT, IFS and CBT when those approaches fit the person and the moment.